Of Scrapes and Spider Bites

A new coworker, requested by my employer to write a safety bulletin, revealed that he had sustained a lesion on his chest while inspecting a crawlspace. Because black widows were numerous underneath that particular house, he was concerned. He lost no time in querying the Internet oracle, Google, to diagnose the wound.

Naturally, any search string involving "spider" and "bite" will return a staggering number of webpages of dubious pedigree insisting that any suspicious lesion is the result of a spider bite. This is unfortunate, because numerous serious diseases, and many lesser skin infections, present an appearance much like that produced by envenomation by some of the more infamous arachnids. An improper diagnosis can result in improper treatment or no treatment at all, putting the querent at risk.

My colleague (who lacks a background in sound, scientific critical thought; well, so do most of us, anymore) quickly determined, absent any pathology or without reviewing any alternative hypotheses, that he had sustained a spider bite - just not one from a black widow. As they were the only spiders he observed, this is a strange conclusion. With the aid of legions of the ignorant, empowered by the Internet to post their unqualified opinions to the World Wide Web, others can come to the same dangerous conclusion.

Hopefully most of these folks have only suffered a tiny puncture wound or scratch - the kind many of us sustain without our immediate notice - that was simply infected by a none-too-serious pathogen that the immune system and a few soapy showers will deal with in short order. Visiting a physician with a "spider bite" of this nature frequently results in a prescription antibiotic, which will achieve much the same effect (you might wonder, my loyal reader(s), what an antibiotic does to spider venom, which is not alive - and I'll tell you: nothing).

Relying on a physician for a proper diagnosis is no fail-safe solution. Doctors are trained to diagnosis ailments via symptomology - they make an educated guess. Sometimes they rely on outdated medical literature. Few in the medical profession spend their evenings catching up on the latest journals; those that have any interest in journals are generally more interested in getting published in them in order to boost their egos (and, by proxy, their salaries when the time comes to negotiate for a raise).

You and I are not any different, it is only fair to say. We don't stay up into the wee hours catching up on the latest AICPA opinions, or reading newly published research on the effects of a new neonicitinoid insecticide on arthropodal nerve receptors. No, we prefer to keep abreast of our favorite reality show, or to relax with our friends and a few pints at the local pub.

Matters are made worse when a patient misleads a physician by stating that he or she has been bitten by a spider, when in fact, such an event was never observed, it was just assumed. Doctors are just as fallible as you and I are; leading your own down a dead-end path when you may have a more serious ailment, such as Lyme disease, does you no favors.

So the next you think you've been bitten by a spider, take a break from your reality show and spend some time in this reality - or it may be the last mistake you make.